Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
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He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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