Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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