I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
