So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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