You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
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