Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Randomize
