The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
We have started to decorate penises.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
