So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
