She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
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