11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
