At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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