I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
