I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
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