She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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