I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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