I CAN MOONWALK!
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Randomize
