nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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