a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
She has the best kind of daddy issues
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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