dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Randomize
