brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Randomize
