He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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