this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
