I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
