He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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