Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
