Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
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