my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
