I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Randomize
