Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
