I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize
