the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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