Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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