We're facebook friends in real life
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
