id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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