is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
