i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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