people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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