you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
