They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Randomize