Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize