Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Randomize
