it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
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Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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