The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
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You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
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I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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