She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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