How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
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