he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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