Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
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