You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
