I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
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This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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