i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Randomize
