I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Randomize
