she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED