I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize