"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
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