Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
