dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
After tacos, we're chasing women.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
