the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
