i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize